Thursday, July 30, 2015

What Finally Forced Me to Stop Being a People-Pleaser

I have always avoided confrontation. The thought of speaking up and asking for what I wanted or needed was a lost trait in my character.
When I was a kid, I had no trouble speaking my mind but somewhere around puberty, like so many others, I became a people-pleaser. And pleasing others often means denying yourself your true feelings, wants and wishes because they are the very things that might offend or put someone out.
There are a lot of us out there.
When I was managing editor at a monthly magazine, I quickly realized how many of our female employers and freelancers would apologize, not speak up for themselves, and settle for less than wanted, whether it be workload or salary. In stark contrast, male employees, even those with little experience, would rally for themselves consistently.
So what made me, after so many years of being non-confrontational, finally learn how to stand up for myself?